I Can't Be Gay
by John Maier
So you are married. You have a wife, a child or two,
a good job, and life seems just fine. But you have
feelings you don't understand. You glance twice, maybe
three times, at the shirtless construction worker,
working on your roof. The policeman who gave you that
speeding ticket on 77 sure looked good in his uniform.
And, you move closer to those young men at Bally's who
are working on their pecs. Whoa! What is going on here?
I'm married. I can't be gay!
You're on a business trip. You're out of town. You
stumble upon a video store and the tokens are flying.
Men, gorgeous men, are on the screen. Before you leave
the store, you meet someone and you stumble through your
first male-male sexual encounter. But, I'm not gay! You
open up to a gay friend. You begin your gay networking.
Your friend takes you to your first gay bar. Your heart
is pumping as you walk through the door at Adams St. The
lights are dim, but not too dim. You can see men leaning
on the bar. 'These men look like me,' you think. 'They
are about my age, nice looking, but not video-handsome.'
The music is loud. You meet a few new people. You don't
understand the expressions "basket" and "meat rack." But,
before the evening is over, your gay friends educate you.
After all, you are "new meat." You eventually meet
someone who knocks you off your feet and, finally, you
realize, I AM GAY! You are scared. You wonder where you
can go to vent your feelings?
The answer is Gay Fathers and Partners of
Akron/Canton. Gay Fathers is a group that meets in
private homes. The membership is married, separated and
divorced men with children. Gay Fathers does not
encourage men to leave their families. Staying or leaving
is a personal decision. But, Gay Fathers provides a safe
and confidential environment where members can share
their thoughts and fears, vent their feelings. Gay
Fathers provides support, information and networking on
topics such as HIV risk reduction, legal matters,
parenting, and coming out to relatives and kids. Programs
at Gay Fathers meetings have included speakers from the
medical field, the court system, as well as,
psychologists and lawyers. So, if you are married and
coming to terms with your sexuality or if you know
someone who is married and coming to terms with his
sexuality, you or your friend will find a safe haven in
Gay Fathers. You can get information about the next Gay
Fathers meeting by calling Terry Bates at 330-488-2463.
Or you may send e-mail to JohnR21074@aol.com.
Confidentiality is respected and assured.
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