What's Up

       Looking back on my life, it seems to me that I have not had the liberties that are supposed to be guaranteed to me by the US Constitution and The Bill of Rights. I was something that was created by societal pressures, and for fifty years I could not be myself and still have my dignity. My very first "out" experience was going to the 1993 march on Washington D.C. I was fearful that people here at home would somehow find out about it. On the trip our bus stopped at a restaurant in Maryland so that we could eat. After returning to the freeway, we found that we had been followed from the restaurant and were being threatened by a gun waving idiot in a car running along beside us. Boy, what a great way to keep a low profile. After spending several hours with the Maryland State Police, we continued on our journey to our nations capital.

       Arriving late, we missed a lot of the speakers and entertainers that I would have liked to have seen. We got to the staging area just as Jesse Jackson was speaking. The remainder of the day was an experience that I shall always remember. It was probably the most fulfilling event of my life; being able to walk with my loved one, hand in hand, without fear of being attacked, hundreds of thousands of people, just like me, celebrating the right to walk peacefully and openly gay, down the streets of our nations capitol. Of course there were "Gay Bashers" present, but they stood behind the lines of Gay security personnel, shouting their insults at us through megaphones. We considered them to be comic relief, rather than any sort of threat.

       Here I am, fifty years old, and this is my first experience of real liberty. What a sad situation I have been in for all of this time. I am thinking to myself, how could I have allowed this to happen to me. I didn't want to be gay. I just am. Why should I have to hide what I am? Why does anyone care what I do as long as it doesn't affect them? Why am I hated by people who do not even know me? I want to be a respected member of society just like everyone else. Why am I considered by others to be immoral? I don't feel as though I have ever done anything immoral, so what is wrong with me? What is it that I don't understand that makes my viewpoint so much different than those who hate me? Why don't I hate them and their lifestyles? Does this mean that they have convinced me that they are right? No it doesn't. It means that since I have suffered prejudice in many different forms myself, I have a difficult time being prejudiced towards others. It is easy to see how hate and bigotry has an influence on the lives of almost every American. You can see it everywhere you look. Blacks have made some gain over the past thirty years, but they are still not treated the same as whites. The ghettos of the 40's, 50's, and 60's still exist. The police still treat blacks differently than whites. The only difference is that there are more blacks who have managed to get out. But even they are held suspect by the typical white person. What is wrong with a society that continues to allow prejudice to dominate its agenda? Is it the individual people within it? Is it based on some class system that exists in America? Is it our government's failure to provide the leadership necessary to educate the people as to the dangers of hate and bigotry? Is it the radical hate mongering religious right? Or is it the just fear of the unknown?

       The answer to all of the above is YES. The responsibility for its continuing rests squarely on the shoulders of our government at all levels, the City, County, State, and Federal level. I worked for a City government for 30 years. I know that when I started in 1963 there were all sorts of prejudices and bigotry present. And I know that it still existed at all levels of management and administration in 1993, when I retired. It existed in every department. And, it will continue until its victims say ENOUGH, and demand that these grossly unfair practices cease.